Ah………. Ahem. Gold Wind, the company that want to sell my book through Kindle want £890 from me, to ‘cover their costs’. I don’t have £890, and even if I did, I have been warned against spending money on GW’s services. Soooo…… Fuck. That’s no good is it? Things are going nowhere, but then again, I should have known from the start; Kindle rhymes with… well…. you know, if you’ve read my old blogs. Blog 6 to be precise. All this is very embarrassing. I got a phone call yesterday, querying about what I’ve done since leaving university. They asked, ‘can you spare 10 minutes’, or whatever it was. I wanted to say, ‘no, fuck off’, but I didn’t. I just said, ‘can you call me back, please?’ Hopefully they won’t, but they will, because they have.
Maybe I need to be more forceful in my approach to finding success. For example, a blurb on my book could simply say ‘just buy the goddamn book’, or my CV could say ‘just give me the goddamn job’. Straight to the point, and it shows my enthusiasm. Well, kind of. Maybe I could just cut to the chase and say ‘give me your fucking money’. No. That wouldn’t end well. ‘Please give me your fucking money’ sounds like less of a threat, but that’s just bizarre. Would the police get involved in such a situation? Maybe a mental institution would.
Oh well, all that’s just dejecting. Here’s a fun new joke for you: ‘It must be depressing for Christians to know that two thirds of everything is Satanic.’ That’s funny because it’s true. For example, ‘here would you like some cake?’ ‘That’s very kind of you, how much can I have, it looks delicious!’ ‘Well, as you’ve been such a nice guest, you can have two thirds!’ ’66.6%?! Get away from me, Lucifer! I condemn you and your demon cake to Hell!’ ‘Er…. Would you like a small slice?’ ‘Yes, that’s fine’. Well, you get the idea. However the joke doesn’t work if you believe the number of the beast is 616. Is it 616 or 666? If you watch QI, they say it’s 616. And what is the number of the beast, anyway? His house number? ‘666, Hell?’ I have no idea. I also, largely because of my mood, couldn’t give a toss. I’m just going to end, here, because AAARGH!!!!