What have I been doing over the last few days? I’ve been working on two sitcoms, one of which I’ve posted on this site, and the other of which is a secret at the moment, so I've promised not to talk about it. :O All I can say is there are lots of people involved, and it will be filmed for Youtube. I don’t even know what it will be called, yet. I’ve also had ‘The Danger of Proverbs’ looked at by an editor, who pointed out a number of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. These didn’t take too long to sort out, but what did take up a lot of my time, was getting rid of all the unnecessary commas that were apparently a problem. I had to go from start to finish to find all of them and needless to say, that was pretty boring. On the plus side, I was listening to a wide range of music whilst doing so, which made a change, as I usually don’t listen to my CDs as I work; I find them too distracting if I need to think, hard.
So let’s talk about commas! Commas were my nemesis, when I was 6 years old. The main problem about them all those years ago, was that there were no clear rules for using them. This bothered me more than anything else at school. For example, the phrase ‘what the hell is your problem, miss? Commas are hard, so why don’t you leave me alone, or at least, talk some sense’, could also be written as ’… Commas are hard, so, why don’t you leave me alone or at least talk some sense.’ Which version should I use? And the punctuation mark implies a short rest for the reader, right? But what does that even mean? How short a rest?? Isn’t there a rest in-between all words? If there wasn’t, the phrase would read as ‘Commasarehardsowhydon’tyouleavemealoneoratleasttalksomesense’. Over 20 years later, I thought I had conquered my demons, but apparently not. Well, maybe I have, now. I think I have. Or,, have, I,,?
For the sake of surely confronting my problems, I think it best to do some research into the tailed dots of misery. Maybe then, as I focus on them, I can move on and grow. That’s how therapy works, right? Ok, so according to the internet, the inventor of the modern comma was Aldus Manutius. After seeing his picture through Google, I guess he doesn’t look like the monster I imagined him to be. He could be just another ordinary person like, well not like me, but like Harold from Neighbours, perhaps. He was pretty normal. Until he went apeshit and tried to kill everyone, that is. What was that about?? I’ll leave you to ponder that for a while… Finished? Ok, here’s something else interesting; I just used another one of Mr. M’s inventions; italics! How handy those slanted letters are. At least they’re easy enough to comprehend. He even invented the semicolon, too? Ok, they’re not quite as handy, but hey, if you want to join two related sentences together, this guy is a legend.
‘So, Manutius invented some punctuation marks, who cares?’ Who cares? I’ll tell you who cares, Slash from Guns’n’Roses, that’s who. The ultra-famous guitarist was so inspired by the ancient figure, he named himself after his ‘virgule’ punctuation. (That’s another word for ‘slash’. Yep, a further idea from the Italian). Why did Slash choose that for his name, and not ‘semicolon’? I really don’t know. But then again, I find it difficult to understand the motives of any of the musicians from the Roses. For example, why Buckethead named himself after a bucket, and why he wears a bucket on his head, and why Duff Mckagan named himself after the beer brand, from the Simpsons. The supergroup has been inspired by historical intellectuals, buckets and non-existent alcoholic drinks? What the hell is going on? These are the thoughts of a bizarre avant-garde jazz ensemble, not a rock band!
To conclude, after the years, I like to think I’ve grown. I am not the paranoid individual, who once thought commas were an invention of the Devil, and I’m not the same person who thought that my old infant school teacher was in fact, the devil in disguise. Even though she acted like it, the punctuation fascist. I no longer fear commas, but have instead learnt to embrace the artistic freedom they give me (but only if I’m listening to music, whilst doing so). I’m also glad I found the courage to look Aldus Manutius in the eye. However, I don’t know what to think of Guns’n’Roses. Are they trying to be interesting and clever, or are they deliberately trying to be weird, so I keep thinking about them, and listening to their music? If the former, hats off to them for going against the intellectually apathetic image many similar bands have, and if the latter…. Oh, God dammit.