Me again! Am I feeling good on my fruity diet or what? Excellent stuff. What have I been doing lately? Nothing new, now to the point of ad nauseum, so I’ll talk about the interesting climate rather than myself. (However, at the start of May you can expect an amusing bee anecdote. That’s being saved as it’s part of the monthly comedy contest blog I write. Yes in this case, it’s already been written). Ok, those in England will have noticed the weather has been unusually sunny lately. But is that a good thing? Most people would say so, but I’ve always preferred the Winter to Spring and Summer, personally. However, deep down maybe I was wrong to. Let’s go in depth and weigh up the pros and cons…
I’ll start with some very obvious observations…
Sunny weather pro:
You won’t be cold.
(Told you it was obvious).
Cold weather pro:
…. … You guessed it. You won’t be hot.
Ok, after that intellectual warmup, I’ll list the more thought provoking advantages and disadvantages in bigger sections. (Because it looks better that way). Please feel free to compare numbers of both groups… :)
Summer pros extended:
1: You’ll sweat more, meaning you’ll flush the dirt out of your skin. (Like in a sauna).
2: You’ll be exposed to more vitamin D, meaning your joints will be stronger.
3: You can walk about outside, just wearing a T-shirt.
4: You’ll be less prone to colds.
5: Paintballing conditions are less muddy.
6: The sun makes the lakes/rivers etc. look really cool and sparkly.
7: It’s more socially acceptable for adults to eat ice cream.
8: Lying out in the sun doing absolutely nothing of value is socially acceptable and even considered fun to many.
9: You can no longer play the song ‘Feeling Hot Hot Hot’ ironically, meaning your friends will be less annoyed with you.
10: Lovely flowers.
Summer cons extended:
1: Whilst the hot weather may make you cleaner in a way, (that’s how it works, right?) you’ll also smell more if you’re not careful. Bummer.
2: Your joints may be better off but the weather will be so hot, you won’t want to exercise as that will make you hotter. Therefore, you’ll never really notice the benefits.
3: You’ll have no more use for your cool looking Slipknot hoodie.
4: You’ll be more prone to skin cancer. (No doubt many many times worse than colds).
5: Paintballing ammo costs a lot of money and the smoke grenades are completely useless. It’s probably best if you don’t go.
6: The way you’ll stare at the water endlessly will make it look to others like you have some kind of mental disorder. (Real or otherwise).
7: You’ll get diabetes.
8: You’ll waste your life AND get skin cancer.
9: You probably won’t want to play the song anyway. Listen to Slipknot.
10: Bees.
Summer fully analysed, we fast forward a few months...
Winter pros extended:
1: More opportunities to splash pedestrians with your car.
2: Snowballs.
3: Christmas cheer.
4: No more flies!
5: When playing Duke Nukem, you can say ‘yes’ to the phrase ‘what are you waiting for? Christmas?’
6: Milkshakes maintain their freshness more.
7: Presents!
8: Beards have more use in keeping out the cold. If you have facial hair for that reason (or any other now that I think of it), you can say ‘itchy beard!’ to people when you don’t believe them.
9: More night!
10: The kind hearted Santa Claus!
Winter cons extended:
1: You’ll be more likely to be splashed by others. Perhaps in retaliation.
2: Snowball related frostbite.
3: Christmas muggings.
4: Unhappy, therefore potentially aggressive spiders.
5: Duke Nukem is now very old, and is unlikely to be played. However, to be fair there are those into retro consoles.
6: Diabetes symptoms worsen through excessive consumption.
7: … …
8: No one has said ‘itchy beard’ since the 90s.
9: …
10: Disrespectful non-believers.
Righty-ho! That was the two extremes of British weather in competition with each other. Which season do YOU prefer? A more thought provoking question however, is what would it be like if the worst qualities of Summer and Winter were combined? For example: Bees mixed with people splashing you, or people thinking you’re mental mixed with muggings. (In other words muggers thinking YOU’RE crazy. That would be weird). Lightening things up a bit… Imagine if the two positives were mingled together, e.g. ice cream combined with no more flies. Wouldn’t that be great? It’s a huge problem, as the insects really do love the food. (I think they can even get diabetes, which is strange to say the least). And for the 65th time… Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.