In a previous blog I have written about how strange my dictionary is. As I browse it often in attempts at coming up with jokes (I like to make plays on words), I have now noticed even more strange things about it. In one of the definitions, for example it says ‘Pfennig: Pronounced ‘pfen-nig’.’ I’m being serious. If you don’t believe me, I’ll say it again. Pfennig pronounced ‘pfennig’. Ok, I’m exaggerating, it actually says ‘pronounced pfen-nig’ the bold writing meaning that’s the part of the word that’s emphasised. Still though, why give such (relatively) pointless help when many other words get no speaking guidance whatsoever? Why for example, does ‘Portuguese’ have none? A language newcomer could say ‘port-ug-yoos’ or ‘port-yoo-gess’. Has the writer of the dictionary snapped at all the people saying pfennig wrong? I can’t imagine how that could possibly happen. (The word means a former unit of money in Germany, if you’re curious).
Even so, here’s a half-hearted attempt at solving the mystery: The writer is on holiday in Berlin with a not so close friend. The friend says to the writer ‘would you like some of my pfpfpfpf, no wait, I can’t say the word. Would you like some of me pfpfpfp…’ At that point the author is covered in phlegm and can’t take any more. ‘It’s pfennig!!!!’ he screams. He then tries to make sure the whole slimy mess never happens again by writing descriptions that can’t possibly be misinterpreted. Ok, that’s the problem solved. What else is weird about my book? Not that much, to be honest. And maybe that’s the problem. Nothing is sticking out to me any more, and therefore, me writing more jokes may be quite tricky. Maybe I should have got myself a new book as a Christmas present, but come on. How boring would that be?
Changing the subject a little (though not as much as you may expect), some of my book’s pages are missing, because I’ve used it too hard. That’s funny too. (Or maybe I need to get a life). Many humorous 'word descriptions' can be spotted in falling apart guides. If your one’s last word on a random page is ‘kowtow’ it might say ‘be too meek and obedient towards…’ and then it will cut off until the next page’s incomplete description which may be ’a woman who accompanies and looks after a queen or princess.’ (Actually the latter phrase is supposed to be connected to ‘lady-in-waiting’, but the point is that it LOOKS like it goes with ‘kowtow’). To be clear, my dictionary's definition of ‘Kowtow’ seems to be ‘be too meek and obedient towards a woman who accompanies and looks after a queen or princess.’ How random is that? And that’s why it’s amusing. (To me). And until after Christmas (I think), that’s all from me! eyB!