As my brother and sister in law have their own families to celebrate with, I was alone with my dad on Christmas day. Not great, BUT I would be celebrating with my brother et all on Boxing day! So that wasn’t too bad. Still boring though, so I decided to get myself a takeaway on Christmas eve to last into yule! I’m sure the restaurant I called assumed I was ordering for two people, nope, all for me. Shortly after eating and posting my latest batch of jokes, I drove for a long Christmas day ramble. As you occasionally see broken car windows in the very rough Surrey suburbs that I live, I decided to bring my mobile phone with me on my journey (strange, I know), in case I was a victim. (Perhaps because vandals were assuming I’d be too festive to care, or because they’re angry at their mums for not buying them the latest playstation, making them mad. I don’t know why people break windows, do I? If you really want to break something, break the mould maybe? By that I mean do something new. And by that I mean don’t break windows!!! If that sounded cheesy to you, I spent about an hour thinking those last sentences up).
How did the walk go? Well, I checked my phone every couple of seconds, then every now and then, and soon enough I forgot it was there. In that respect, I consider the experience a true success. That’s exactly what I wanted to happen. You may remember last year I did some low level trespassing in Chobham Common. One year on in the same place, and I saw a sign saying people who go past the fence of the oil pipeline area or whatever may face jail. I saw no fences, but I’m assuming there must have been some somewhere. Otherwise the sign was a huge troll. Either that, or I went past a fence I didn’t see and did indeed break the law. But the more serious offences were the damaging of property and the digging of holes and stealing oil for yourself. A strange image, but that’s what the sign said.
Later on in the journey, someone noticed my Alice in Chains jumper and said they were a great band! Success! Me advertising my enjoyed bands payed off and I got the recognition I’ve always been looking for! The guy said he’d seen them live. In terms of fandom, he had defeated me. I on the other hand had never seen them once. On the drive home, I saw a warning saying ‘road ahead closed’ but I saw no closed road. I’m praying I didn’t do any trespassing in my Toyota and that I didn’t go on any illegal routes. But I very much doubt it. It should be clear. When home, my dad said that I had missed dinner, and that I got my wish. He was trying to make me feel bad, but that was actually my wish. I didn’t want any turkey and such, as I was full on Chinese food and chocolate. Very much so in fact - that was my plan.
What I didn’t want to miss however, was classic super film ‘Jingle All the Way’. Sadly I missed a good few minutes, but because of the miracle of stations that play the same programs just an hour later, I could watch the whole thing. But before that, I went downstairs to get some water. On the way, I saw my dog in the living room. Then I thought I saw the same pet in the kitchen! Very weird, but actually it was one of my shoes. In my defence, a shoe shouldn’t really be in the kitchen. Against my defence, I put it there, though. Is that a defence? I don’t know. Anyway, I did end up watching the film, as I noodled on my unplugged electric guitar. Wow, a guy called Randy Kornfield is associated with the movie? I guess Korn weren’t being as unique as they probably thought spelling corn with a K. Maybe the band were inspired by Kornfield, who is a children’s writer. Sounds weird, though. Anyway, turns out the film isn’t the masterpiece I remember it being, but it was alright I suppose. Definitely better than nothing.
You know what? I just felt like lying in all day and planned to watch Home Alone 2 shortly after. Maybe a bit of a bad decision. A waste of a day, but I didn’t know what else to do. Go for a run? Nope, too exhausted from all the last day’s gyming. Before the film there was a Christmas message from a robot. When asked if it liked humans it said ‘Not particularly’. Oh here we go. MAKE NICE ROBOTS! Do we really want to live in a world where AI hates us? This is common sense. Can you imagine the controversy if the Queen said she ‘didn’t like humans’ in her Christmas speech? Why would you say such a thing, it doesn’t make any kind of sense!! Anyway, the film. Sadly Home Alone 2 is basically identical as the first film, but you know what? I think the second version is an improvement. Which is something. There’s not too much of a storyline in the last section of the film, it’s just two people getting hurt over and over and over again, but it’s not too bad.
A day passes…
Not long after getting my petrol station potato wedges and that kind of stuff, I drove for a shorter and more local ramble. I decided not to bring my mobile, as if there were any problems, I could just walk home. Let’s face my fears in small steps. Furthermore, it turned out that the neighbouring car park was reasonably full. It would be a particularly brazen act of vandalism if my or indeed any car was targeted. But who knows. Maybe a youngster was REALLY upset about not getting the latest Playstation. You’d think an adult would be able to handle the disappointment better. But who knows? Anyway, it was a nice walk. Not fantastic, but calming and so law abiding. Not just from me, but everyone! I even experienced common politeness when someone said ‘good day’ or whatever it was. Clearly I wasn’t really listening so the politeness didn’t really go two ways, but the appreciation was there in a way, and everyone wants to be appreciated!
A few hours later, my brother visited me and my dad with his two youngest children! For a gift, I got all the chocolate I could possibly wish for, too much even, I’m going to MESS my teeth up, but as long as I work out how to control myself, I should be fine. My niece on the other hand unwrapped the weirdest present I ever heard of. My brother explained that toy hamsters give birth to other toy hamsters over night or something like that. Does that sound right to you? Personally, I’m VERY confused. Whatever the case, a fun gift. My nephew got a large toy car that was big enough to sit on. I can comprehend that, obviously. I’m just saying the other present is still puzzling me at least a little. I’d have loved a demonstration but again, it works over night apparently. Annoying, isn’t it? Over than everyone enjoying their presents, that was pretty much the visit, but just before going home, my brother gave me some chocolate cake. Oh no. Of course I had some, but I will try not to eat any more. That’s it! Bye!