This comedy contest will be a little different as for the first and possibly last time ever, I will be making 2nd place win! Do I have a grudge against 1st place? Nooo. As you can tell by my gesture, I’m actually very friendly. You wouldn’t know this, but that’s my hand I drew. You can’t fake body language. Well I can’t which is why I sometimes get into trouble. As in ‘Am I annoying you Simon?’ ‘Ummm… No. No, no, no.’ Or ‘Can I trust you with this?’ ‘Sure!’ Ok, so no grudge. Did first end up in jail? That’s more believable if you’ve watched some of the standup winners, but again, no jail. ‘I can’t be bothered to find another act this month’ is obviously a bad phrase, so let’s say ‘it will save time’, if I go back to contest 43 and promote the runner up’s video, here.
So do ‘victors’ Idaho Boys deserve the highly respected special greeting, or should I give them a regular thumbs up? Even worse, should I give them a thumbs down?? No. Reason number one: They actually made a perfectly respectable video, and beat one other competitor. Three acts isn’t a lot for most event organisers, but it is for me, nowadays. (Ahhh, I remember when I did 11 act competitions. I was so hopeful and full of life). Reason No. 2 (the main one): What kind of competition or indeed person treats people like that? Imagine getting a thumbs down in a letter if you’ve been told you’ve been made bankrupt, or if your novel gets rejected. It’s completely unnecessary and I know it would just be demotivating. Of course you don’t want to give people unrealistic expectations, making the special thumbs up inappropriate too. In the case of rejections, a normal thumbs up would arguably be good. It’s complicated this thumbs business, isn’t it? They’re not just other fingers, in fact they may be the best.
Anyway, the slightly dated (I hope) video. In it, two characters went mental because of excessive quarantining and lack of proper food. One guy even got attacked with a razor. Makes you wonder where it would all end, right? I mean crimes often escalate. Before you know it, knives, machetes, then chainsaws get used. (Things finally ending with the explosive shotgun). I checked their Facebook page to see if they mysteriously stopped making videos (because one guy would be dead, and the other in prison), and tragically, they haven’t made a video in 16 weeks. RIP. What’s most disturbing is the fact I’ve seen numerous videos by these chaps before the whole virus business, and they seemed so normal and likeable. So there’s a warning for you: Trust no one. Poor food and boredom. That’s all it takes.
Now to make my trademark apology: I’m sure Idaho Boys would take offence to me saying that boredom turns them into killers. Of course it’s offensive, of course it is. Again, there are a number of standup acts who wouldn’t be quite as bothered by the thoughts of them being murderers, I get the feeling some would take it as a compliment, but IB aren’t like them. I’m being sincere, when I say they have friendly faces. Furthermore, I’m sure their recent lack of activity is explained by either peaceful obeying of quarantine rules, or maybe they just don’t need constant attention. A bit weird, but each to their own. Now check out the freak’s video, below!
https://www.facebook.com/1555758101356051/videos/607935373493851
After an even bigger apology, it’s time to change the subject! Would you believe I parked in the same spot in the gym car park twice, meaning I trod on a dog turd also twice?? Not only that, a gym member farted right in my face which is never good, but I was out of breath at the time, only making things worse. The fans on the ceiling kind of blew the smell in face, as well. On a more positive note, my knees are a lot better than they used to be. I can now run for 18 minutes without pain. I pointed out in an earlier blog how the gyms mysteriously closed in lockdown when I hurt my knees, possibly, just possibly so I was forced to let them recover without the temptation of gym running machines. Isn’t it funny how now I’m fine, I can now go to gym? I’m just saying you better be nice to me, or God knows what will happen next time. Ultra lockdown. Only joking, here is apology No. 3. Super sorry, this time. That was mental. And of course, an apology goes out to the standups, who I said wanted to kill people. (But so did they). That's four. Worst blog yet. :( Bye!