This month’s contest winner is Bad Medicine, again! (Good Bad Medicine! :D Sorry, that was dumb). Their video ‘Dear Nylabone’ complains that the Nylabone pizza flavoured dog toys don’t taste enough of pizza. BM bring to mind a valid point - why not just put real bits of pizza in the things? You can certainly get very cheap forms of the meals, and surely all the research that went into trying to taste like the them was pretty expensive. Unless Nylabone didn’t really bother doing any, which does make sense. I mean have you ever heard a dog complain about anything? (Right?) If dogs can happily eat absolutely DISGUSTING surstromming (well mine did, it just gave them bad breath), the company might as well do what they want. Unless they plan on using evil ingredients, but I can’t work out what they could be. Well I suppose surstromming might be evil, technically speaking. That’s more of a hunch than a fact, though. Sounds silly, but I really did have strong feelings about it. (Yes I’ve brought up the fish before, but BM have won before, that’s my thinking - consistency). Anyway, according to BM, apparently dogs CAN complain. If dogs are unhappy for whatever reason, (I guess arrogant dicks, cats upset them and rightly so) they can woof, but to most humans, those barks are meaningless. I’m jealous of those who are dog-wise. I’m very curious as to what my pets think of me. Even better, I would love to have a chat!
Turns out Nylabone is a real company. BM were certainly brave standing up to them, especially because they’re so apparently dishonest and lazy when it comes to one of the cheapest and easiest foods to make. I mean, if they don’t bother with nothing but cheese, tomato and bread - far from rare or gourmet ingredients - who’s to say they won’t get mad and send you a joke apology letter in return for your complaint? In fact, I GUARANTEE you… if you get any reply at all, it won’t be serious. A heartless corporation, for sure. On another note, fine, complain about lack of flavour, but lack of frenzy in the toys? You’re going into dangerous territory, there. Sure a frenzy sounds fun but in actuality, that’s rarely the case, just turn on the news. I’m not saying Nylabone are PSYCHOPATHIC, but if on the super small chance they are, you REALLY don’t want a frenzy from them either, to say the least. It will probably involve an axe. If you have NO idea what I’m on about, check out the video below. (And please forgive me Nylabone. I’m sure you’re a 100% ethical company. If you weren’t you’d be in jail now. Right? Right?? You haven’t frenzied on people have you? Only joking, I know you haven’t. You have Simon’s stamp of approval).
https://www.facebook.com/231573637012472/videos/565946511020727
Now to change the subject! Apparently there’s a really badly researched film about schizophrenia out there, called ‘Words on Bathroom Walls’. Apparently the ‘schizophrenic’ main character has loads of nonsensical symptoms and stuff like that. But why not take that stuff further?? Here’s my idea for a new film: The main mentally ill character can do amazing calculations like 3.65445 times 43566.2233 in a second, but ONLY when he’s not on medication. In the end of the film, he chooses to give up meds all together, as his illness makes him superhuman. That’s more of a specialist joke, many people may not get it but still, that film must be made. Also, the main character becomes so paranoid at the end, he starts levitating. He can also hear hallucinations in languages he can’t speak that are translations of Shakespeare. THAT movie would suck. (Might be entertaining, though). And I THINK, that’s all from me. Bye!
Three paragraphs? Actually, let’s change the subject again. Here’s a mini palindrome, I hope you like it: ‘Sub bus’. As in a not so good bus. Good, isn’t it? Short but sweet. Actually no, that won’t do. Let’s pad this blog out more with this amusing comment I made, when summarising the video in question a while ago on my Facebook page: ‘I’m glad I’m not the only person who hates dog food. I thought there was something wrong with me. Still going to eat it though. :D’ Isn’t that great? The very happy face at end made me look crazy, but that was the point for the sake of irony. It’s not every day I want to appear that way, even WITH the irony excuse. THAT will do. Bye!