It’s time for another Matt promo day! In one of his latest videos, Matt talks about how there are twelve steps in the treatment of addictions, for example alcohol addiction. He also mentioned you can be addicted to drugs, etc. However, what he didn’t mention was chocolate addiction, and that got me thinking. If there is no confectionary treatment that I know of, maybe I have to take matters into my own hands and treat myself with my own program. (I digress, but I find it funny how the phrase ‘treat myself’ is ironic in this case, as the whole point of confectionary addiction treatment is NOT treating yourself. If you get what I mean). How will the program go? Maybe something like this?
Step 1: Admit you will never get better and that you will always eat chocolate.
Step 2: Might as well eat more chocolate, then…
Step 3: NO! Say ‘control yourself!’
Step 4: Start crying.
Step 5: Hold a bar of chocolate in your hand and stare at it for 30 seconds without eating it.
Step 6: Not too bad? Try another minute…
Step 7: Still doable? Can you do a week? No! You have a disease!
Step 8: Have a panic attack.
Step 9: Get hospitalised. However, mental homes have chocolate biscuits readily available. (It’s true).
Step 10: Request you get sent to a padded cell with no chance of seeing chocolate anywhere.
Step 11: The staff laugh and think you’re joking. What a positive, fun and harmless person you are! You get sent home.
Step 12: Eat more chocolate. :S
I’m not saying my plan is perfect and you get little if anything out of it, but at very least it IS insightful. What does Matt also talk of? He starts his video by saying whilst he did have mental problems before, he is now completely healed and as his Youtube page is about his various struggles, he no longer will be posting anything. Then he said he was joking. Why didn’t I make a more logical blog and start my writings with what Matt said in order? Well the truth is, I was excited about writing my chocolate treatment program. It didn’t turn out to be good, sure, but I did like writing it. Anyway, Matt’s joke got me thinking… What if I suddenly learnt to read maps properly and had no more mental problems? What would I say in my site? I’d be stuck wouldn’t I? Which is why in a way, just a way, I hope I have a mental breakdown. What a blog!
Moving on, a while ago I heard that people say ‘er…’ when they think briefly and ‘um…’ when they think longer, and at 13:23 Matt goes ‘um’ and at 13:30 he goes ‘er’. HOWEVER, he said the latter just a tiny fraction longer than he said the former. I KNEW the theory was a load of rubbish. The question is, who said that and why? I mean, doesn’t that sound like a strange thing to research? The fact the research turned out to be wrong makes things so much worse. Let’s be real here, what do you think sounds more worthwhile? Cancer research or ‘er and um’ research? You know what makes things worse than that? All these years I considered the theory as fact, I lied when I said I didn’t believe it. You can’t trust the news, you can’t trust authority, and now you can’t trust er and um researchers. Can it get any worse? Don’t believe me, check out Matt’s vid, below!
In another of Matt’s videos, he points out how the number one regret of dying people is that they weren’t true to themselves in life. Matt also points out how Jeffrey Dahmer WAS true to himself and that ended in disaster. I hate to compare myself to Dahmer with my non-filtered writings, even if he was arguably one of the more mild-mannered killers, the point is, a truly kind murderer is simply impossible. For that reason, if Dahmer said to me ‘hello, you’re true to yourself, just like me’ even if he meant it and wasn’t just tricking me, I would do my absolute best to get away from him. And on that reassuring note, bye!