It’s the beginning of the month, so it’s another Matt promotion day! Let’s get to it, in his video Matt says he’s worked as a security guard in a cemetery and was told that if he saw any blood drinking Satanists, he should just tell them to leave and they probably will. Sounds like a good job to me, I’d feel like such a badass simply telling crazy people to go away and them listening to me. Sadly my current situation is more of the opposite. You have to feel a little bit bad for the guys though, they’re not welcome anywhere and drink too much blood and they’ll get iron poisoning and thus diarrhoea. Not macho and not something to brag about. And where the hell are you supposed to get blood? It’s hard being a Satanist. Do you know what I suggest? Christianity. Churches often serve biscuits and sandwiches you know? Look me in the eyes and tell me that’s not so much better. Even all the holy singing is at least a little bit fun. Black metal singers in contrast are at risk of a lifetime of throat problems. It’s almost as if God’s making it hard for Satanists. As he seems to do so in such relatively benign ways, I’d say God is far nicer than the devil. Clearly obvious, I’m just saying there’s proof. Having said that, God poisoning many heavy metal fans with his own heavy metal? THAT’S how you get back at someone.
Back to Matt, check out this part from his video starting at 01:53, it’s genuinely super funny. If you can’t be bothered at least read the words here, and if you can’t be bothered to do that? Well, I guess I’ve lost a reader. :( Anyway, here goes, it’s better acted with Matt’s serious, kindheartedness, but hey: ‘And as her eyes could not hold any more tears, a single one just fell down and I went up to her and said ‘look, there’s no reason for you to cry’ and I stuck my tongue out and I licked up the tear, and she said ‘no one’s ever done that for me’.’ Great stuff, really. On a more serious note (at least I hope he wasn’t being serious then. No actually if he was being serious that’s fine as the woman was grateful, good for him) Matt says someone pretending to be a radio station boss tried to scam him out of $200. But at least he would have got a neat laminated radio station pass with the money, albeit a fake one. People have been more ripped off by ridiculously expensive Pokemon cards. What what you rather carry around with you? A pretend pass, or a silly cartoon picture of a monster? It’s not an easy decision is it? Oh yes, you know earlier when I said to watch Matt’s video? I forgot to give the link. Here it is.
Now to change the subject! Actually no, let’s talk about Matt again. In his vid, he mentions what I guess normal Americans and not just the eye-licking ones (I’m not judging, if two consenting people want to lick each others eyes, I say go for it) call ‘Confetti Poppers’. I was thinking ‘confetti’? That doesn’t sound right… I mean it sounds fair enough TECHNICALLY speaking, but what are they called in England?’ Then a couple of hours later it came to me ‘Party poppers!’ You know what that means? It means my subconscious did the work so I didn’t have to. Why does it matter to me what party poppers are called? You what my subconscious should really have been working on? I’d really like to able to spell my second name properly 100% of the time!! I’ve written ‘Wiedeman’ by mistake again, it keeps happening!!! Something deep within me wants me to spell my name wrong and I don’t know what it is. Yes, it’s foreign but it shouldn’t matter. To a lesser extent I’d like to be able to sweep pick properly. I kind of can, but kind of sloppily and only the more basic shapes. I’ve heard many people saying such a technique is barely musical, but come on playing up and down three octaves in less than a second? That’s magic. And on that inspiring note (or lots of them!! :D), bye!