Here is my diary for Christmas day! It’s probably going to be really boring as like many, I will be doing next to nothing, but hey - I probably won’t be doing COMPLETELY nothing. Right?? Unless maybe I hit my head and knock myself out. Then again, I’d still be breathing at least. So really I’ll only be doing nothing if I die. Then again, I’ve never heard someone say ‘that dead guy’s been doing nothing all day…’ Arguably dead people don’t do nothing because they can't do anything. It’s very hard to explain my thoughts because they’re so deep. What I mean is, you wouldn’t say a brick did nothing all day, would you? Well I suppose you could, but I wouldn’t. Maybe I’m over thinking. Lets gooooo! :D :D :) :) :( :( :’( :’( :S
9:15 (ish): I’ve just finished checking my emails and posting my jokes and shapes and stuff like that. It was really boring, but people need to know what shapes I’ve been thinking of. Otherwise, they may be completely confused by me. (Today’s shape is ‘power’). Maybe it would be better to say when I started doing things as opposed to finishing them, but it’s too late now. Let’s call it ‘reverse order’ blogging to save confusion later. I’m making things needlessly complicated, but who knows, maybe you’ll grow mentally after reading this blog. :O
9:25: I’ve just finished my daily Coco Pops Coco Rocks. Delicious. Despite the fact I opened a new bottle of milk, I didn’t get that highly sought after bit of cream, but who cares in the grand scheme of things? This day is going to SUCK.
10:50: I’ve just got back home! What did I leave for? (Again this whole reverse order business is a little weird, but I’ve started, so I’ll finish. Even though it’s hurting my brain). To kill a bit of time, I decided to go to a walk round Chobham common, but the car park was full. It was a bit depressing the way I couldn’t even do something I didn’t really care about, though I did go for a mini local short walk afterwards that didn’t completely suck. Was it a truly happy festive walk? It was not.
11:30: I’ve just brushed my teeth! Usually I brush immediately after my sugary breakfast, but I did just now because of all the chocolates I’ve just been looking forward to and eating. ‘But why didn’t you mention them?’ BECAUSE WHO CARES?! Again, this is not a happy blog. I could open my presents, but I’m saving them for the time I can meet the rest of my family. Yep, I’m hoping for a delayed Christmas. Today is NOT going to be my idea of a yearly highlight. If it is a standout day… Jesus. I hate to be relentlessly negative, but yeah. Dear God.
11:35: I tried to sneeze, but I couldn’t. This sounds silly, but I really like sneezing, especially if I can pull off two in a row. Again, I’m not hoping for much more excitement. I might watch The Godfather later on, I’ll see how I feel. I have ‘watched’ it before, but I wasn’t really paying attention, so today will effectively be my first viewing. Many people don’t have the skill to completely zone out, you know? Lucky me. Though it mostly causes pain.
12:10: I’ve just finished listening to Hum’s latest album ‘Inlet’. Paradoxically I can’t make that interesting, despite the fact it’s an interesting album. Hm.
12:45: I’m listening to ‘Kill ‘em All’ by Metallica. I always thought the long bass solo was a rambling, unstructured bit of rubbish, but now I’ve opened my mind, I actually think it’s pretty good. You just have to pay attention to it. Sounds dumb, but it’s a genuine tip for those with ADD.
12:55: I’ve just eaten a date. Let’s not make this a COMPLETELY unhealthy Christmas. Actually screw it, I’m going to super pig out later. In fact, I’m probably going to get wasted by eating chocolate liqueurs alone. I tried doing that before to impress my school friends, but never managed to. Today things will change.
13:15: Just finished listening to Kill ‘em All’. All the solos sound the same, but they work. That’s the beauty of the pentatonic scale - no dodgy notes! Want to safely use a SEVEN note scale, rather than a five note one? Check out the dorian mode. (As long as you’re jamming over the right chords, I mean). Thank me later. Time for ‘We Are Motorhead’ by Motorhead. Not as good as the Metallica album, but expect more pentatonic scales that work. In fact, if you ever hear the scale used badly, you have every right to say ‘NOOOB!’ (Then hit the offender on the head).
13:35: I’ve just choked on my own spit, causing a mini coughing fit. Hopefully I don’t look infected.
13:55: Eaten another date. Definitely an underrated fruit.
14:00: Finished listening to We Are Motorhead. So yeah, not bad, not great. That shouldn’t come as a surprise (for me) though as I’ve listened to it before. Many times in fact. The not paying attention argument can’t be made. Unless things have gone seriously wrong with my brain. Which, let’s face it, wouldn’t be a surprise.
14:05: Just put some Stratovarius on. ‘This year has been a nightmare, I’ve been so low I don’t care’? Huh. Couldn’t find a more perfectly fitting sentence if I tried. (I actually didn’t, hence my mild shock). Spooky. I’m not doing a maniac dance, though. Be a bit weird. (That was a mega specialist Stratovarius in joke. Only Finnish people will get it).
14:25: Screw it, let’s have more chocolate.
14:30: Excellent just sneezed, twice.
15:05: Outstanding turkey with mustard. And pigs in blankets, too. (Again, with mustard). I also had more chocolates, but without the mustard. Instinctively I know that would be chocolate ruined. So how does the surely not so different CHILLI chocolate work? I’ve tried some and it was good. Then again I THINK chilli goes with everything. Try and think of another ingredient with that quality, so let’s see those hands for chilli. And maybe chips. You see chips a lot, too.
15:30: More chocolate!
15:40: Just tried to zap the bacteria in my mouth with some potent mouthwash. It probably wasn’t enough, judging by all the treats I ate, but I can’t be bothered to brush again. This is a day for chilling. (And naturally poisoning the body with all sorts of sus ingredients).
16:30: Ooh. Just noticed a new speedrunning video on Youtube. Might have to watch it. Normally that alone would do to spice up a day, but why not expand on the whole experience with some whisky?? :O Still the worst Christmas I remember though, let’s not get carried away, here. Ok, ok, ok. It’s not as bad as the one when I was 15 and had hardcore super schizophrenia. Let’s not go THERE again.
16:45: Awesome. But now I’m feeling a little sick. Not hospital or mental institution sick, I guess I feel ‘mellow sick’. Try calling 999 and explaining you’re mellow sick. You’d get accused of wasting time AND coining a new phrase. Well maybe not now that I’ve written it down, but you would beforehand. Let’s hope the phrase lasts forever: Mellow sick, mellow sick, mellow sick.
17:15: Feeling a little less mellow and more sick now, but not significantly so. Who knows what the future will bring? Probably boredom.
17:45: … … … Screw it, let’s end here, get it proof read and watch The Godfather. More chocolate will surely be enjoyed, not so much by my stomach, but my illogical side of the brain that wants to see me obese and with a tooth ache. :S Bye!
18:20: Nearly finished proof reading. My weird writing style is causing me problems, though… Bye………
18:30: Ooh, really nearly finished, now. Byesybyebye.