Yesterday, England played football against Slovenia! I’ve talked about colour theory in previous football blogs where wearing blue for example should result in calm playing, and yellow clothing should result in cheerful playing, (perhaps with less fouls - happy people don’t attack others), now I will discuss name theory. My idea was Slovenia would run slowly, again because of the power of the subconscious. England rhymes with ‘win land’, so at the time of the match I was feeling pretty confident. I wished the match started just a few seconds later as I was finishing my sausage and chips, but just a few though, and actually my meal was pretty well timed. If England wouldn’t win against Slovenia, at least I would win at time management. Now, I will be writing as if the match is about to begin. Very interesting, let’s go!
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As explained not long ago, white is the colour of death, and England are (not were) wearing white. Let’s hope they don’t die literally or metaphorically. Slovenia are wearing a calming blue (and if you’re calm, you run slower). Sadly that suggests they won’t metaphorically die (or in other words lose), as who would be calm in such a situation. Unless they don’t care if they fail, but if they don’t how the flip did they make it as footballers??
The match has just begun! I missed just a few seconds as I was busy putting my food wrapping downstairs, so my room didn’t smell of salt, vinegar and curry sauce!
11:16: I haven’t been able to comment on the football playing yet, but a Slovenian fan appears to be dressed like a DOS PC lemming. Same colour hair, the same style, same clothes and everything.
17:00: Kieran Trippier tripped someone over, that’s great.
18:42: I’m not sure why the goalie tried so hard to save the ball when it had no chance of going in. Maybe he got bored, maybe he wanted to fit in with the other players.
19:40: The commentator got really excited, but I was typing at the time so I didn’t know what was happening! In a way I’m glad no one scored as I would have missed it. Call me selfish.
20:45: Ok now you can score, England.
28:07: Two England footballers keep passing to each other looking confused…
30:26: England tries to score and the goalie isn’t just acting this time around. I wonder what goalies think when they have nothing to do, they might as well keep their minds busy. Do they do sums in their heads? When I’m in the gym, I try and work out the fractions I’ve completed on various computerised equipment. If I’ve run 5 minutes of 10 minute session, that’s a half! Healthy mind, healthy body and vice versa... Furthermore, I haven’t noticed Slovenians running particularly slowly, but they have had much less possession of the ball, baked up with statistics. Maybe they need to run after it faster.
34:26: England make a damn good attempt at scoring but not good enough. No fractions in the head of the Slovenia goalie, that’s for sure. That was damn fine concentration.
36:40: I have to be honest, I have noticed some Slovenians walking slower that you’d think they would…
39:15: The commentator said Trippier has been the most productive. I wonder if that’s because he’s on drugs (Trippier sounds like ‘trippy’ after all). It could also explain why he tripped someone over.
40:00: The commentator got really excited and again I was busy typing. I missed no goal but I did apparently miss ‘a beauty of a ball’. :(
44:33: ‘Bellingham is the chosen one’? That’s what the commentator said. Sounds a bit mad…
It’s half time, so I’ll get some chocolates from the fridge… Woo…
49:10: The commentator said ‘Bellingham threatening’. You’d think it would be the off his face Trippier who would be threatening, wouldn’t you? Keep drugs out of football.
52:22: A footballer did a somersault for no apparent reason. It started well, but he did end up falling over. I’d expect it from the goalie, again as he basically has nothing to do. Maybe the footballer just go excited. Was it was Trippier? I’m not sure.
61:50: Apparently someone got hit by ‘a stray arm’. What’s that? Because stray cats are abandoned cats, how can you just abandon an arm? And even if you could, how would the arm end up hitting someone? Very odd.
67:12: Someone headbutted a ball and then fell over which was funny. Again, I’m wondering if it was Trippier. It was definitely an England player.
75:29: The crowd tried chanting the national anthem but it sounded more like ‘happyyy and glorious raaaa ra-rara, God save our quee-kiiiiing….’
84:00: Has Trippier been replaced by another footballer? Maybe I’m misunderstanding things. If I’m not and he IS on drugs, why not replace someone who has less energy? Of course cocaine is very very bad, but it will give you a boost…
The match is over and no one scored! Slovenia are very happy, but I was very bored. Even worse, I’m feeling I need to make an apology for repeatedly accusing Trippier of being on drugs. I've joked about that beforehand, too. -_- To sum up Slovenia didn’t die either literally or metaphorically, just as I predicted! A bit spooky, but if you’re weirded out, it’s worse for me. And… bye!