Yesterday, I went to the London Comedy Writers meeting in Birmingham, I mean London for well over the 100th time in my life. A dumb and samey idea for a blog? Maybe. But it’s highly likely nothing interesting will happen this month, so I’m getting a bit desperate. But let’s try! So… Before leaving for the train station, I checked an online journey planner, and it said my usual 17:15 train didn’t exist which was odd. I know for a fact I’ve taken that same transport well over 100 times. The site didn’t say the train was cancelled like it does sometimes, again, it just wasn’t there. Very strange. A problem with the site or were the I.T. specialists, etc., going out of their way to annoy me by giving me false information? I never knew my dad worked for such a company. Even though the train could have been running in another dimension or whatever, just not mine, I still jogged there, just in case I was late for it. Turns out the site wasn’t playing tricks with me, there was indeed no 17:15 train. Damn. I had to wait another half an hour. On the plus side I discovered my hard work at the gym is paying off as I wasn’t out of breath. Do the run another 25 times and I could finish a marathon. :O Now all I need is a novelty costume, maybe a sausage roll. Only joking, I’m not an animal.
When on the train, I had to do the special ‘mask on the tip of my nose’ trick, so my stupid covering didn’t steam up my glasses. Very annoying, much of the time even that didn’t work. Not to worry, there was always the opportunity to people watch. (Or rather listen - I couldn’t see them). The first people on the transportation were early teenagers and perhaps for that reason they weren’t being particularly interesting, I guess because they were too young to have some really good stories. A short while later however, there was one older individual who talked about once sharing a train or whatever it was with famous hook handed lunatic Abu Hamza. :S That really is an anecdote you have to wait for. Not long after that, I switched trains to the underground, and despite the earlier missing train, I was actually 10 minutes earlier than I should have been according to the site I visited. It shouldn’t have been so hard on itself. There was a bit of confusion when I approached London Bridge from a different angle than I was used to which won’t sound bad for normal people, but it was a big deal for me. Even so, I didn’t get lost and arrived at the meeting on time. Swish.
Even so, I was later than I usually am, so I didn’t get a pick of my favourite chair. However, the one I got was damn close to it. Got to love the corners of rooms, right? I really do think they’re the chillest seats. The event was pretty standard really, though a highlight for me was when I heard someone talking about either someone being in his 60s or born in the 60s. Then I realised that people born in the 60s are in their 60s so it doesn’t matter. I thought that was neat. There was a very reassuring moment when someone of my age got up during a script reading and had a pee. I thought those kind of unwanted urges just happened to me. Maybe he keeps peeing because of constipation? In that case, may I suggest dates? They’re a super food as far as I’m concerned. So, 60s and premature peeing. Is that all that’s worth talking about in the meeting? Well, as I’ve been there so many times and things are getting samey, pretty much!
On the way back, my mask wasn’t steaming up as much as before even without the tip of the nose trick, but annoyingly no one was sharing a train with me a lot of the time. Why did it have to steam up when I needed it, and why didn’t it steam up when I didn’t? Argh. But other people WERE close to me at times, so it’s not so bad. When I was in the company of others (obviously), someone said ‘nice train’. That really is on the opposite side of the spectrum as the terrorist story, as the train was literally normal in every single way. Weirdo. Even better, I noticed the transport company was called ‘SWR’, which very nearly excited me. Simon Wiedemann Railways, perhaps? A dystopia for some, but a utopian society for me. That would be cool. But again to be clear, it was an ultra everyday train. Freak. SWR probably means South West Trains or something. Damn. There we go, a reasonably sized blog. I guess, bye!