This month has been pretty uneventful, even for me. As I’m typing on a Friday, I don’t know if I’ll be going to Whipsnade Zoo with my brother’s family, tomorrow. I was going to go two weeks ago, but my brother didn’t book the tickets soon enough. Then I was supposed to go last week, but the whole local motorway was closed so going wasn’t really possible. I could phone up my brother and ask him what his plans are now, but I don’t want to come across as a zoo obsessed freak, which I am. My dad said we all WILL be going to the place, but as hinted at before, that really doesn’t mean anything at all. Similarly, Easter is next week and all I know is my brother’s family will be going on holiday around that time. Will I see everyone for chocolate egg sharing or will it be too late? Again, I could ask my brother, but I don’t want to come across as an Easter obsessed freak, which I am. In a prior blog I jokingly (but seriously) pointed out how I’ll always have a chocolate addiction and that relapses are completely expected. However, similarly to alcohol addictions, true chocolate BINGES are harder to defend and that’s what’s coming up. Sure I have a disease, but try explaining you can’t take a break from eating all day. On the plus side, if you’re addicted to something more benign like water, you can either visit a doctor or set up a Youtube channel about yourself. You’ll do pretty well!
On the plus side, if I don’t go to the zoo, tomorrow, I’ll most certainly be getting myself a pizza, so it shouldn’t be too bad. It will just be a slightly lonely pizza. :( If I do go to the zoo, I wonder what to call the blog about the place. ‘Whipsnade Zoo, the Trilogy’ sounds reasonable, but it’s too vague. Maybe ‘Whipsnade Zoo, the Trilogy. Exploration and Precipitation’… because it will likely be raining. Hopefully not too much though. It’s annoying how two weeks ago AND a week ago, the weather was perfectly fine. I say it’s been a dull month, April should be pretty interesting. First up, I will be going for a mental health checkup very near to my local gym. My plan is to use the gym carpark, put my gym pass on my car dashboard, and sneakily not pay for a carpark ticket, which I really should because it’s carpark misuse. Exciting stuff. I will also be going to the dentist, and I will be going to hospital for the first time in a long time to get my Clozapine filled blood taken, as the local nurse will be going on holiday. However, the exact time of appointment hasn’t been booked for me yet, all I know is it will be on a Tuesday, and later on in the day I will be going to the London Comedy Writers meeting. Will the appointment be booked near to the time I will be leaving for the event, making me need to rush things? I don’t know, and that too is exciting. I probably won’t blog about the carpark fraud though. I’ll just mention it in this blog and hopefully when I do visit the psych doctor, all will be forgotten.
And why does the weather forecast have to be all over the place? One day it will say next Saturday will have 0% chance of rain, the next day it will say 35% then the next day 0% again. Then when you think everything it will be fine, it will say 100%. Unless I’m misunderstanding what the phrase ‘Precipitation 35%’ means. I assume it means a 35% chance, it doesn’t say on Google. Surely it doesn’t mean ‘precipitation 35% domination.’ That would be very heavy rain. 100% domination sounds truly terrifying. Ah turns out I WILL be going to the zoo soon! How about that! Not today (now I’m typing on a Saturday) but very soon! Unless maybe the motorway explodes or something similarly unexpected happens. I’m keeping my fingers crossed and what’s even better than that is I’m getting a pizza later! What a time to be alive! I’m planning to take things easy at the zoo and take a break from all this blogging and overthinking and I just want to zone out and enjoy looking at the animals. There is just one thing I want to get out of the way. I really want to show everyone who is old enough a band called Gutalax and their song with cartoon visuals called ‘Diarrhero’. It’s as bad as it sounds, just be thankful it’s just a cartoon. Showing the children will almost certainly cause some seriously messed up nightmares, so yeah I’ll be careful to show the tune only to the adults. Even the song without the video is quite intense. You can’t hear the words because they’re grunted but you do fear the worst. Right, blog over, bye!