Hello! In this blog, I will discuss online videos and… that’s it. Or is it? Excited? Let’s gooo!
First up, there’s this Youtube video, describing a live contest where two mathematicians tried to come up with the biggest number possible, and everyone found that very exciting. Really? It’s like a couple of guys in a packed stadium, describing larger and larger houses to their audience. The first competitor would be like ‘Imagine a mansion the size of Earth!’ Then the crowd roars with excitement. Then the other star would be like ‘No! Imagine one the size of a galaxy!’ Then the audience would gasp and say ‘No…’ in disbelief. Then the contest gets won by the first guy saying ‘Check this idea out: A house the size of ten universes!’ Then the audience would burst out in a wild applause, and say ‘en core!’ I’m sure the atmosphere was amazing in the real contest, but… yeah. Weirdos. On the plus side, there WERE rules to it - you couldn’t just add 1 to a number to make it bigger, so the thing wasn’t completely stupid. If that excited you for whatever reason, book your tickets in advance for the next show. You don’t want to miss a treat. Here’s a teaser: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 :O
‘Hang on… This isn’t a blog, this is a monologue. Why aren’t you writing about your day?’ Touche. A very valid point. Let’s go to Staines, get myself a CD, and see what happens!
Ok, the trip was pretty dull; life without Starbucks just isn’t the same. The following anecdote is now interesting in my life, relatively speaking: There was a massive queue behind the traffic lights, but the lights were green, up ahead. Surely the lights wouldn’t stay that colour by the time I got the to signals! Turns out they did! They were green for ages! Another highlight was when I bought a CD for about £10. According to Amazon, it’s worth 30. Bangin’. (Actually, the more expensive version had one bonus track I didn’t get. You have to pay another £20 for it, so it better be damn good). To be fair, the hash browns I got from Subway were pretty damn good, too. I actually prefer them to the sandwiches, perhaps meaning it would make more sense for the franchise to call themselves ‘Fried Potatoes’. Just a thought. Or ‘Potato Way’ if that wasn’t catchy enough. I like ‘Spudway’ even more. Sadly however, Spudway is already a thing. It’s potatoes riding motorcycles.
Oh, here’s another stupid maths-based video, called: ‘Why “probability of 0” does not mean “impossible”.’ Here we go. So saying ‘no chance’ doesn’t mean ‘no chance’. No, I understand. Did you know ‘maximum’ doesn’t mean maximum? Minimum does mean anything, either. Which is why I genuinely hate maths and numbers in general. You wouldn’t hear a news reporter contradicting himself all the time would you? You wouldn’t hear him say ‘Violent crime is up. Actually it’s down. No, actually it’s both.’ How trippy would that be? But it’s ok in maths, isn’t it? Another video is called ‘The Largest River on Earth is in the Sky’. I’m not even going to think of clicking on that. I’m not giving the video maker the satisfaction.
Turns out I didn’t get enough potatoes. Now I’m going to the shop to get a loaf of bread. Ok! No loaves were available, but I did get some pitta bread and noodles. Not fascinating, not even interesting, but again, it does make this blog ‘blog status’, which is important as I need to get my four diaries a month done. Now let’s be stupid and talk about Youtube, again.
Koko the gorilla doing human sign language IS interesting. How can it not be? Annoyingly, rather than sharing lighthearted anecdotes about bananas and his fondness for The Jungle Book, he calls humans stupid! Absolutely true. That must have been hurtful for the people teaching him. I’m assuming they would be like ‘He’s going to tell us how hardworking we are and how grateful for all the memory games he is!’ Not the case. The gorilla is clearly very arrogant. Possibly because the creatures are incredibly good at such games. There’s a lesson for you, zookeepers/researchers. It may sound cruel, but upping the level of such games dramatically, could make them more humble. Unless they realise how much people suck at them. THEN you’d get asshole gorillas.
Let’s blogify this blog a bit more. I’m starting to feel hungry. Oh, am I boring you? I do apologise if I’m not living like a double agent, again my life is more boring than ever since the sugar crackdown, but I try!!! :,( Anyway, I am looking forward to the noodles, though. Mmmm.
I’ve just watched a video where people eat Surstromming for fun. Apparently, some people think the rotting fish is a delicacy. It’s not a delicacy, you’ve been pranked, trolled, taken for a muppet, powned, or however you want to put it.
I’ve also watched a video about speedrunning computer games. (Playing them as fast as possible). Usually, I really hate it when artificial intelligence does things better than humans, but I wish a robot would get made that plays such games absolutely flawlessly. Then people won’t have to bother anymore, and they can do something productive with their lives. Despite those opinions, I do enjoy the videos. But simultaneously… Well they’re pointless aren’t they?
On the subject of AI, I’ve seen a video where a computer completed an unfinished symphony, perfectly. I don’t know, but I’m assuming such music can be written with a few clicks of buttons as the subject is very rule based. I SPENT 5 YEARS STUDYING MUSIC AT UNIVERSITY AND I SUCK!! Woo!
I’ve just watched a video of a bear, and it yawned. Because people need to get along with each other (apparently) or something like that, people copy each other’s body language to show they’re friends, maybe? Well something like that. Again. And I yawned after seeing the animal. Do I subconsciously want to be liked by bears? Hm. That could explain the bear poetry I’ve been working on, my bear calendar, and other stuff like that. Bears are cool. So I yawn with them!
Here’s a bear haiku!…
Sometimes I feel low
When it seems like no one cares
I think of cool bears
I watched a video saying ‘Koi fish are extremely intellectual’. Intelligent maybe, but they don’t read books and write haikus. Not like me.
Here’a a haiku about a koi fish…
Koi fish aren’t that smart
Where are the koi fish novels?
Oh yeah, there are none.
Maybe that poem wasn’t as good. I sounded like a bit of an asshole. :(
A day passes…
I think I’m going to skip describing my noodles. All I want to say is, ‘nice noodles.’ Ok, you’ve twisted my arm. Here’s a haiku…
Something’s on my mind…
What do you call new noodles?
I guess noo-noodles.
Here’s a worrying thought: Some people say that cockroaches are disgusted by humans, yet they still bite them. That suggests that rather than the taste of people, they’re disgusted by their behaviour. :S What did I do?? Sure I like annoying others, sometimes even powning them, but that doesn’t mean insects have to run for their lives and wash themselves. -_-
Next video! I won’t describe it, it will spoil the surprise. Don’t worry, it only lasts 7 seconds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a_SxSf5d-g
Funniest reaction ever.
I just watched a video called ‘Never turn your back on a tiger’ or whatever. The next video I came across was called ‘Living With Tigers: Family Share Home with Pet Tigers’. ‘But that’s ok, as long as the cats were trained, they should be fine. Of course they won’t eat their masters when they look away.’ No, no. The prior video was also about the animals kept in captivity, but a zoo instead. Zoos are just grassier than buildings. That’s all. Houses are no safer. :S
Last video! I just saw a video about a cannibal tribe, and the leader of it STRONGLY reminded me of The League of Gentleman’s Papa Lazarou. Both in behaviour AND appearance. You seriously need to watch ‘The Aghori’. :O :O :O
Ok, that will do! Let’s get this stuff proofed! Byeeeeeee.